Must have loyal fan base, original music (no no... really orignial content) at least a 12 week tour followed by a week in Barbados followed by another 12 week tour... etc until death... mmmm death...
Available to start touring now:
Experienced Guitarist... no really he plays anything you want... except that stupid crap nobody likes
Experienced Drummer: He's not only like Boom tiddy bap tiggity tiggity tag brrr de brr brr de tang! but he's also like Boom Bap! Boom Bap! Sometimes a B'Boom but mostly just a Boom!
Experienced Bass player: So experienced he would never call himself a bassist and never ever ever confuse his instrument with a coat rack... He's like bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow with one finger.
Experienced singer: He just goes "Baaaaaaaby Uhhhhhh its like UUUUUHHHHHH" and all the girls mess their underwear. Then he goes "Grrrr AHHHH Gurgle Scowl Microphone stand humping Howl!!!" and all the guys are like, "Horns dude! Definite devils horns for that sh't man!!!" And then guys arent afraid to wear spandex and jewelry anymore...
c'mon you know drunky Mc Drunkson's Talent Agen (hick) Talent Ag (hick) Agents (hick!!) Drnkys Mc DRunkerHello H(Ick) Talent Magency is right for you so go ahead and give a call right now... c'mon put those Cheetos down and call right (hick) now... You want reliable and talented musicians right?
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