There once was a man named Enos…..
First off, if youre still reading this after that opening line, youre ok in my book. Secondly, if you happen to know how that limerick ends, please let me know because its been driving me crazy for about ten years trying to figure out the ending every since Krusty the Clown used the opening line on the Simpsons.
Now about me:
-Im a 38 SWM, 5’10, 180, blue eyes.
-Im a gentleman, a flirt, a smartass, honest, and openminded.
-Im intelligent enough to discuss the Theory of Relativity, the possibility of wormholes in space, and the paradox of human nature. HOWEVER, youre much more likely to find me discussing such mindless topics as ‘who would ever buy tofu dogs twice?’ OK, I better qualify that topic before I get any vegetarians steamed (ha!). No, I don’t have a problem with non-carnivores. But lets get real, tofu dogs taste like ass. Moving on…
-I believe in treating a lady as a lady. Ill open doors for you, help you with your coat, pull chairs out for you, defend your honor, and would run into a burning building to save a woman I didn’t know. Ill help an elderly lady cross the street and stop to help a young woman change her tire.
-That being said, Im all guy. I love watching football. I can drink hot sauce straight from the bottle. I like my steak bloody. I think Andrew Dice Clay is hilarious. I love coffee but youll never catch me drinking lattes, mochas, or cappucchinos. I know all 857 slang terms for human genitalia. I don’t watch movies like Steel Magnolias and dont even consider discussing Brokeback Mountain with me. If you ask me to go to a museum or a flower exhibit, Im going to counteroffer with going to a sports bar and having some Philly Cheesesteaks while we watch the hockey game. I think the opera and theatre are as stimulating as watching paint dry. When it comes to music I listen to metal/ headbanger, but Im tolerant when it comes to others preferences (however, if you try to pop in some Barry Manilow we’re going to have a problem). Lastly, while Im a complete gentleman in public, when it comes to affection you can expect me to be all over you like a bum on a ham sandwich when we’re alone.
If the above sounds ineresting to you, drop me an email. Ive got a pic if you send one with your response.
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