Mari
I’ve only been at this for a month or two… after a very long marriage to my high school sweet heart.
I have met some women at the local bookstores, bars, grocery stores, gas stations you name it… I have even met a few off of CL and may have intentions of meeting a few more. But dam… it all seems so complicated. But, I believe you have to take the journey… it makes the final destination that much more enjoyable. I’m not sure if I’m ready for “a relationship”, who does know that for sure? But when it happens, aaaaaah… you will know it!
So, why am I telling you all this on CL… I like playing the game, because when the amusement is over… opps here comes reality. And hopefully, that is where all the fun begins. Have you ever listened to Marshall sing his song? “Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to cease every thing you ever wanted…one moment… would you capture it, or would you let it slip?”
I told you I had writers block, I hadn’t written a word for weeks...months. The juices weren’t flowing… I was frozen in time. I’ve spent the last year trying to find out who I am, what’s important, and what was it I missing in my life. My mind crawled through the days like a snail making his way through the garden, not sure if I could or even wanted to make it through to the next one. I took long walks at daylight. Drank a quart of Vodka every night (ok… just go with it… it’s a story) I hadn’t showered or eaten in days, the stubbly gray hairs on my chin had grown wild. As I looked in the mirror tonight … I cried! God I’m a fucking mess. I need some one to fill me, to warm my soul! My heart ached from loneliness. As I stumbled across the room and sat in front of the computer, there was an ad for singles in the Gilroy Times that lay on the floor. The web site was Craigslist, in my drunken stupor I hopelessly tried to type the correct address in. It took me 15 times to get it… Something inside kept pushing me. Just do it! She’s out there! God dam it! I know she’s out there, I screamed silently to myself. I finally got to Craigslist. My eyes were blurred from the excessive alcohol and the tears of frustration that ran down my face. “There it is”, I said to myself… I posted… What I want- 49. My fingers stumbled over the keyboard as I typed from the heart. What was it that got your attention? Was it… I want what every one wants? Or was it the… when we are together, time will come to a halt. We won’t be able to see or hear another person in a swarming café. Our eyes will be locked on one another. We’ll hear each other’s hearts beat from across the table?
It might have been the… You will be sodden with desire. I’ll be eager for your touch…
No, I’m not sure if it was any of that, we have been getting to know each other over this strange, yet useful (for many reasons), thing they call the Internet. You’re a little cautious… you should be! I think your looking for what I’m looking for. True Romance. Can it happen? When wills it happen? There are so many untold stories of romance, people fall in and out of love every day! But yes, I believe true romance does happen! It’ll happen when you let go…follow your heart… I hope you and I’ll be friends for a long time. I know you’ve seen this before, but that’s a picture of a true happy ending to a friendship found on CL
I’ll write you when I return from Seacliff…
Christine, I’m glad we got the names straight ; )
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