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| Parking Tickets and other stuff |
| Cars & Trucks, Etc. : Foreign : Toyota |
| 03/15/06 |
Okay, what can I say, I'm bored and don't really have anything else to do at the moment so I thought that I'd complain about all of these damn parking tickets!!! Did you know that from 2002-2003 that San Francisco brought in $69,264,942 from giving us parking tickets!! As if it wasn't already too damn expensive to live in this city, they take us, bend us over and rape us in the ass with parking tickets...
Now has anyone actually checked the accuracy of the parking meters lately?? because the other day i put in enough money for 30 minutes of parking, carefully checked my watch, came back with five minutes to spare only to find a god damn ticket on my window!!! Now as you can imagine, i was quite upset about that and I looked around for the damn meter maid which i saw about two blocks down, so i aptly grabbed the ticket and took off after her to run her down!!
So I finally catch up to the bitch who had by then written many more tickets, btw I had to run four blocks to catch up with her and by the time I finally grabbed her I was sweating, which is uncomfortable when you're wearing jeans and a jacket, but at least I'm not one of those idiots who wear jeans that are 40 times too big for them, though I suppose it's a smart way to buy clothes when you eat all of that KFC and McDonald's, soon enough you'll be fat enough for your clothes and you saved money by buying your clothes and then growing into them, which is, I suppose a better way than buying clothes that actually fit you and then getting too fat and be forced to buy new clothes. Ha! then I'll bet that you keep your "skinny" clothes and hope that someday you'll loose the weight, but you still keep eating your fast food and drinking soda, but enough of that, I digress.
Where was I, oh yes.. I was yelling at the damn meter maid whore, and I use whore not in the traditional prostitute sense, but more as in a whore for the man! Yeah, you heard me meter maids!! you're nothing but a bunch of man whores!! er ah .. yeah something like that.. I tried talking to her calmly and politely at first, which was hard because my balls were sweating, which made me irritable and quite uncomfortable... now honestly!! WTF, why do we need to have sweat glands on our fucking balls of all places!! can't that be the one place where we don't sweat so it stays constantly dry!! Because then you know, you're out on a date, you go dancing, your fucking balls start to sweat, then if all goes well you're taking her back to your place, but if your balls are sweaty and sticky she really won't want to play with them. Then the reach around is out of the question because she doesn't want to play with sticky balls, and now the sex is meaningless because it's really not sex without the reach around. I reiterate, ITS NOT SEX WITHOUT THE REACH AROUND!!!! LADIES, LEARN THE REACH AROUND, NOT NEARLY ENOUGH OF YOU KNOW THIS!!! IS IT SO MUCH FOR US GUYS TO ASK THAT YOU PLAY WITH OUR BALLS WHILE WE'RE HAVING SEX!!??!!
Yeah, I didn't think so!!! Hell, I've done anything that the ladies have asked! Sometimes I find myself putting her hand on my balls just to make a point, yeah sure, she'll play with them for a minute or so, but inevitably the hand will move and no more reach around for me!!! Dammit!! Sorry, where was I??
Ahh yes, the meter maid whore! So I explain that there's no way that I overstayed my meter time because I was very careful to ensure that I did not go over the time limit and that the meters must be running fast or something because I was only gone for 25 minutes, she listens patiently for a while, but, and this really pissed me off, she kept glancing at the meter next to the car were next too, I mean honestly at least pay attention!! Oh yeah, by the way if you own a green toyota corolla and you got a parking ticket on Chestnut, I'm sorry, I think it was my fault because if it wasn't for me, she would have moved on to the next one.. oops sorry sorry, my bad.
Oh yeah, so I begin the conversation in a polite matter but after the first five mintues I can see that this is clearly is going nowhere!! So I start yelling at her and blaming the fucking meters, and her lack of education that made her a whore of the man, etc... etc.... well, it didn't matter, she didn't give a rats ass, so I told her where she could shove it and I was already late to my appointment so I took off. On my way back I looked down at my watch only to find out that the fucking battery that I bought a week prior had stopped working and this whole ordeal was caused by a stupid defective battery that was made by some slave child in China, I would've purchased a battery made in the U.S. but for some reason we feel it beneath us to make small watch batteries anymore, damn cheap fucking batterys!! Now I have a fucking ticket and so does the guy with the toyota all because of the damn battery!!
I hate Parking Tickets!!
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