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| Okay, My Christian Boy. - w4m - 20 |
| Boats |
| 03/15/06 |
I played a mean trick on you.
I took your virginity.
You were gorgeous, and it worked. I am a horrible horrible person.
At first though, you were so damn good at it, I didn’t possibly think this was your first time. But, after the little phone spat we had earlier today, you made it perfectly clear through you anger and frustration with me that it was, actually, your first time.
And to think at the ripe old age of 21, you finally found a use for that big ole’ dangler.
You wanted to call me naughty names so badly on the phone earlier. Good! Anger, now…Come on…come over to my apartment and let’s work this anger out. Come on. I need a good spanking for what I did.
It really took some work to nail you. I had to buy a Bible, go to church, stop swearing and listen to your Dad rave over our Commander and Chief for four hours!
I had a true meeting with Jesus, and I tried to explain this on the phone to you, but you weren’t buying it. I was in bed one night, not too long ago, when Jesus showed up. I swear he did!
He didn’t look much like I had pictured him, but none-the-less, he showed up in my apartment.
“Jesus?” I said to him.
“Who the fuck else would be?” Was his response.
“Oh, sorry, do you want some water or something?”
“No, I’m good, I’m God.”
“Ah, right…”
“I see you, here on earth trying to take advantage of that young bucking bronco’s naïve attitude with respect to sexual intercourse?”
I bowed me head and frowned a little, “Yes, dear Lord, I have been trying to do that.”
“Have you tried beer or porn?”
“Jesus!?!?” I responded, “Jesus, Jesus! That’s personal!”
“I am God, nothing is personal. I know all, so shut up and listen.”
My eyes got wider, as he floated down to the foot of my bed, only to speak again, “You must take his virginity.”
“Jesus, but I’ll have to commit sins to do it.”
His face scrunched up a bit, and he look at me, pointing a finger, “If I’ve got to bitch-slap the correct answer out of you then I’m well prepared.”
“Jesus, Jesus! Okay!”
“I don’t want that splendid, young, intelligent foot soldier of mine not experiencing the joys and feelings of sex! I want him to experiment and love and feel different women against him before he get’s married! This is your quest; you must complete this task for me.”
“What if I can’t do it, Jesus?”
“Then you’re going to HELL!”
With that, the spirit was gone. Jesus, Oh sweet Jesus, had disappeared.
He told me to do it. He did. It’s not me, it’s him, and he’s the manipulating spirit who put me up to it. He told me, very clearly, that I had to break this streak of virginity within you. I had to show you that waiting for marriage isn’t all it cracked up to be. I had to show you that there is deep sexual purpose, desire and talent, hidden deep in those pants of yours.
He told me to do all that. He really really did, and you know what? He was right, it worked. I had to bend a few rules, but it worked.
So, don’t blame me. Blame God. He made me do it.
So, come on dangler, stop being such a pumpernickel. Guys like you are hard to find. Honest, caring, handsome, intelligent, and hand-holding.
Don’t worry, Jesus can vouch for me on this one. He gave his okay, so why can’t you?
That and I know you enjoyed it just as much as I did………
I’ll make you a deal. I’ll pull my Halloween costume out. I’ll get dressed up, with the make up and all, just like it was Halloween, and you can come over and fuck the hell out of the Devil.
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