Let's discuss the Myspace profile phenomenon...or curse...
- Ok, what is up with these dumb GLITTER GRAPHICS?! For god's sake, I see people my age with
"Hottie"
"Suga grrl foreva"
"i smoke week regularly and the world most know
"mmhmm I'm hot, this graphic is glittery and pictures a sexy glitter cartoon girl. hollaaa"
OK, GREAT. You're supposedly hot, you smoke weed, you drink (WOW, WHO DOES THAT?!) and you obviously still secretly wish you could glitter paint, since you load your profile with glitter graphics- Hey, it's okay. Glitter painting was a fun time. But there comes a time when we all must secretly pretend we no longer have the urge to glitter paint and play M.A.S.H and eat snickers candy bars and talk about how we totally slow danced with a boy at the dance.....Oh God, I digress!
Ok, so glitter graphics suck a lot, and they must be banned.
Next- Boring surveys. Who READS these?! no one! Only the person who actually filled out the damn thing.
"Oh, yeah, favorite nonalcoholic beverage..hm, man...Diet pepsi. definitely. Okay, favorite ALCOHOLIC beverage! Ohhh! My time to SHINE. I'll whoa them with my great answer! They'll be glad they read MY survey when they read that my favorite alcoholic drink IS.....bud light."
UGHHHH.
And Ok, retarded myspace photos. It's so cool that you get drunk, because only 90 percent of the population does, but why do you need all the pictures of you intoxicated? The worst captions:
"lol, me drunk at Bubba's"
"lol, me drunk right before mark slipped the roofie"
"lol, omg. what happened that night? Where did this tattoo come from?! OH MY GOD AM I PREGNANT?!"
"lol... I puked so much that morning. I puked all day. I pretty much almost killed myself. lol vodka rules!"
blegh.
I hate seeing kids on Myspace. I just do. All kids under 15 have exactly the same profile.
Grammar- atrocious
Videos- Hip hop-tastic (even the honkies. What happened to girls loving boy bands, is what I'd like to know. now the 12 year old girls are swooning over gangsta rappers. It truly confuses me.)
Surveys- Of course. young teens' profiles are filled with those retarded surveys, and the answers are BORING. Every answer is either "ya" or "no" or "lol wut does that mean" because they have no grasp on the English language yet, didn't know what "assertive" meant AND NEED TO GET OFF MYSPACE AND OPEN THEIR ENGLISH BOOK OH MY GOD KIDS GET OFF HERE MYSPACE SUCKS ANYWAY WHY YOU HEAR MU'FUCKAS? Oops, run on sentence!
Photographs- girls attempt to look sexy. guys attempt to look tough.
Girls, if you are still able to sign up for the Oscar Meyer Weiners hot dog singing contest, then you're not old enough to be posing half naked on beds, or standing all sexy-like in front of your mirror. God damn. Yes, I came across a 12 year old's myspace profile, and all of her pictures should've had a warning label on them. Warning: Jailbait. It was so wrong. Why was she posing on her bed, wearing short shorts, glancing into the camera sexily while her legs were spread?! This girl needs to stop reading Cosmo! Quick, lock her in that room with an endless supply of "Highlights" magazines and religious propaganda! Yes!
Boys...you're 4'9 and white as hell. You're not tough, you're not from the streets. You live in a boring suburban town.. It is not gangsta. Your down the street from Wendy's house of Christian Science. Next to that is Morty's Malt Shake N Burger parlor. However, I'd be more than happy to throw your little ass into Compton for a night. Hey, you could pose with some gangstas, and put the picture on your myspace while your "Dem Franchize Boyz" song blares in the background!
Woo!
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