| i'm straight forward and honest; i'm an enigma. i'll call you to ask if i can come over and then knock on your door. i talk about walking to ireland and swimming to russia which makes people's heads hurt but i just laugh when they protest. i try to speak spanish but only i can understand what i say. i throw in random lyrics to bands not many people have heard of, and laugh hysterically when i accidentally make bilingual puns. i keep a kangaroo handy for getaway needs, drive to montana twice just to learn how to handle my car which died two weeks ago on my birthday. i sing in my sleep while i sleep in the shower. i want to wake up with a body by my side, and sometimes i do but most often i don't cos i try to dispose of them before they decompose. i run away to korea and fight monsters in hyrule. i live in the swamp and fall in love with fictional characters from a show thirty years old. i remember each boy that broke my heart and each boy that healed it anew. i throw parties for my favourite musicians on their birthdays and for my friends on their fake birthdays. i invite everyone over when everyone's unbirthday coincides on the same day, where we eat cake, play croquet and mariokart. i solve differential equations and take pictures during sex. i have plans to make my own porn that i would watch strictly for entertainment value. i wear penguin pajamas and dance to the russian ska, gypsy punk and irish folk in my head. i give hugs to everyone i can and sometimes they give them back. i make plans to get my stomach in shape by laughing which makes me laugh more. if you mention a bay area city i'll tell you where i sort it every morning monday through friday. i catch up negatively by waiting and rush around just to kick back. i'll answer your call no matter the time if i can call you up saturday at 1 am cos i had a bad dream. i fake british accents cos i know they'll fake me back. i have irrational fears that there is a doll in the back of my car and will call my manager to keep me company on my way to work so he can call the police when the doll kills me. i will walk to you in the rain if i think that you need me and i can't say no when someone askes for anything i can give. i'll loan you $600 to get your motorcycle out of impound as long as you promise to be my sex slave as interest. i'm a giver, a sharer, but i'm not altruistic. i want to be shared with in return. i don't like the government and labour struggles make me cry. i'm not much of a drinker but i have a bad habit of taking what is handed to me. i want to hold and be held, to walk lost through big cities at night hand in hand. in one word i've been described as "ridiculous" and that makes me smile like crazy.
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