We're Special Agents Moaner and Sullied of the FBI (Female Body Investigators) and we're hot on the trail of a sultry shape-shifting seductress who's passionately wanted by our legendary bureau (and, frankly, wanted on top of our legendary bureau as well). We've just had a tip slid under our door by our top-secret informant, Deep Throat, that you might be found here and we're prepared to use the full power of our badges to get you to go down to (and in) our office. Assistant Director Skin has proved less than helpful in providing assistance and so we're asking you to give yourself up, to hand yourself over, to submit to a full and thorough search by two highly trained professionals. Although you'll be prodded, examined (and perhaps even physically restrained), rest assured that you'll remain in able hands as long as you're here.
We don't mean to sound alarmist but the future of our planet may very well be at stake.
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