Other people may think that they hate pigeons but for me, its war. I shoo these winged rats out of my way every day, time and time again, yet they come back in droves. All day they lurk over the guests and when the guests leave they fight over the remains viciously, splattering ketchup and tartar sauce everywhere. Thats right, I'm a waiter at an out-door restaurant and pigeons are my arch enemy. With their beady little eyes and greasy beaks they terrorize me daily.
Why do you persist? I know you all eat well, look how fat you are. You could at least pretend to fear me sometimes, but no, you just stay a legs length away. But you'll see, I have a plan.
I have a proposal for the city of San Francisco. The city could pay $1 for every dead pigeon turned in to city hall. Think of the Glory! We could solve the homeless problem and rid this city of those dirty pigeons once and for all! Can you imagine, homeless people would have shopping carts full of dead pigeons instead of cans! It would be my heaven!
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